Welcome to this #UpYouBrave 1-1 Livestream, where Natalie Cutler-Welsh chats with Jacqlin Richards from Your Parent Journey about love & relationships in the context of parenting.
Jacqlin is a Mother, Parent Mentor, Speaker and Facilitator who is deeply passionate about bringing greater awareness to the way we raise our children. Raising empowered children takes empowered parents and Jacqlin loves to walk alongside men and women as they empower themselves through her mentorship into a very different way of being a parent. In her work Jacqlin loves to weave in parts of her own unique journey and empowers parents to not parent from the past by repeating the way their parents did it! Her own parenting style that she has created with intention has as she says: more grace, more humour, more fun and more joy by stepping into the empowered parent she wanted to be and to create the life she wanted while still being a parent. She now invites men and women in their lives as parents to do the same.
You can find Jacqlin and her programmes here: https://www.yourparentjourney.com/, https://www.facebook.com/YourParentJourney, and join the Your Parent Journey Group for free here: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentJourney. It’s a supportive group full of like minded parents who want to do parenting differently. Pathways for Parenting Online Program which starts 10.08.2020: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentJourney/events/, https://www.yourparentjourney.com/pathways-for-parenting-program. #freedomoftime – the replay of Jacqlin’s current program to create more time as a Parent will be available soon as it is currently in progress! Here are the details so you know what to look forward to catching up on: https://www.facebook.com/events/950123632124718/
In this episode Jacqlin mentions:
- When parents can shift their relationship with the way that they parent they can find acceptance and change the bits they’re not so happy with. It’s really hard to change something if you’re busy judging it.
- The three things that parents struggle with the most:
- The reactions – many parents are just not happy with the way they react to everyday situations and what just falls out of their mouths
- Time – is one that parents are really challenged by
- Perfectionism – the need to be perfect and to get it right all the time, which trips up so many parents.
- When things aren’t going as expected, be really gentle with yourself and increase your awareness around it. The biggest trap that Jacqlin shares awareness of is the We parent from the past trap. We tend to either turn into our parents, or a reaction to them where we swing over to the other end of the spectrum.
- Other parent traps include:
- Never enough time trap – gaining awareness that we run this belief that just because we’re parents we no longer have any time. The issue with that is just because the belief is there we don’t question it, we just accept that’s the way it is. And that we’ve just pushed a giant pause on our life as a parent and it’s all about the kids. When we do that, we’re just modelling the same to our children and putting everyone else’s needs before our own needs.
- Putting our kids first trap – having awareness around this will not only save your sanity, but also your sex-life and your marriage. Because we parent from the past we so often feel if we didn’t get exactly what we needed as kids (eg: attention/connection etc) we tend to flip over to that otherside of the spectrum and over give it to our kids and we end up at the bottom of the list. It’s time for women especially to stop taking on all that responsibility – it’s unconscious behavior until we take a look at why we’re doing it all and why we’re not inviting in more help. And there’s also how much our relationship/we change when we become parents.
- By being aware you’re in the ‘trap’ it dissolves the judgment of it. When we can talk about without any judgement there’s a level of acceptance and almost fun and playfulness about it. This can make it more normal to have these conversations.
- Play is the energy that shifts anything and kids love it. It doesn’t matter what it is – maybe the kids are squabbling or it’s heavy energy, but by starting to dance or pull silly faces the energy shifts and everyone starts laughing at each other. Have a good time as a parent and really enjoy it.
- Alongside the dividing up the workload discussion, take a look at whether you’re putting your relationship with each other first – as a couple/co-parents.
- The Pathways for Parenting is all about balance, especially in terms of relationships and the traps we fall into – for both men and women, to start to dissolve the blame, guilt and finger pointing, and to understand that. When we can understand each way the different members of the family are viewing the world we can have compassion and understanding, and build bridges between people. The transformation in people’s lives is a game changer.
Natalie Cutler-Welsh is your host, speaker, author, Impact Entrepreneur and mother of 3. Aka the Go to Girl and the Up Your Brave Mentor, Nat helps people to Amplify their Impact, business and wellness with her Amplify Membership and Essential Oils.
In this episode Natalie mentions:
- You can be who you want – you are the CEO of your own life. You can show up and be as fun/crazy/outrageous as you want to be. You don’t have to be in the ‘should zone’ where people expect you to act in a certain way and wear a certain thing. Be who you are and take that finger off the pause button.
- Have a discussion about dividing up the work in the household/parenting, what are the roles you want to have in your relationship/areas of responsibility, what do you love doing, what can you share, are you in your role of genius/joy so you’re not having to do it all, or are you doing things you don’t love doing?
This is one of the #UpYourBrave livestream series designed to help raise the state of resilience, health and happiness on a global level.
You can find Nat here: http://nataliecutlerwelsh.com/about/. You can also check out the other videos in the #UpYourBrave series here: http://nataliecutlerwelsh.com/video-series/. You can also find more recommended tools and resources here.