Empowering Kids Through Times of Change – Episode 20

In Uncategorized by Cutler-Welsh

We are all experiencing interesting times at the moment and while some kids will brush things off, others will take the weight of the world on their shoulders.  In this episode of the #UpYourBrave livestream series Nat and her guests share tips and insights on Empowering Kids Through Times of Change.  

Jacqlin Richards from Your Parent Journey is a Mother, Parent Mentor, Speaker and Facilitator who is deeply passionate about bringing greater awareness to the way we raise our children.  Raising empowered children takes empowered parents and Jacqlin loves to walk alongside men and women as they empower themselves through her mentorship into a very different way of being a Parent.  In her work she loves to weave parts of her own unique journey and empowers parents to not parent from the past by repeating the way their parents did it!  Her own parenting style that she has created with intention has as she says: more grace, more humour, more fun and more joy by stepping into the empowered parent she wanted to be and she now invites men and women in their lives as parents to do 

You can find Jacqulin here: https://www.yourparentjourney.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/YourParentJourney/.

Jacqulin’s upcoming Programs can be found here:  https://www.facebook.com/events/950123632124718#freedomoftime is an online program to Create More Time As A Parent starts 20.07.2020 and Pathways for Parenting online program starts 03.08.2020.

In this episode Jacqlin mentions:

  • The 3 Fs of parenting: creating the Freedom of time; the Freedom to be who you are as a parent; and the Freedom to let your kids be who they are.
  • Stop making change wrong and to stop layering it over with negative energy.  If we want to empower our kids through change we need to embrace it as parents. Many of us have been conditioned that change is hard/wrong, but change is the nature of life – if we keep fighting it it doesn’t flow.   Dance from perfectionism to ‘OKism’ – let go of the need to get it right and the need to be perfect. 
  • Empowering kids through choice.  So many children feel like they don’t have any choice.  Kids want to feel powerful and independent like we do as adults, and to feel like they have some control and say over their lives, but often they don’t. Rather than ‘overparenting’ get really clear about what choices are yours (the things that really matter) and what choices are the kids – let some of it go, does it really matter if the kids socks aren’t matching?  The kids become so much more cooperative and empowered because they have choice.  
  • Start to unpack the belief that as parents we’re responsible for our child’s happiness and success and carrying that burden, because it gets in the way of being able to respond and enjoy being a parent.  100% there’s the connection with the children, but there’s also that connection with yourself as a parent to be able to absolve that belief that we’re responsible for our children, which will naturally allow the connection to be made so much more easily. 

Cat Levine has spoken for 20+ years about Emotional Intelligence and Mental Health, and has given over 1,000 presentations in schools and businesses around New Zealand and overseas.   Cat recently toured NZ with Mike King speaking in Primary Schools about mental health with her famous Mood Cube. Cat is currently booking schools in for presentations on Anxiety, Empathy and Resilience for the last half of 2020 and for 2021.

You can find Cat here: www.catlevine.com and https://www.facebook.com/OfficialCatLevine/

In this episode Cat mentions:

  • For kids to know they can share with us, because sometimes they can feel like they’re a burden so don’t talk about what is going on.  The main theme for Cat’s first presentation she does in schools is that feelings aren’t forever.  So as parents we need to remember that and get our children to open up about their feelings, and that helps to shrink it down by giving it a name. 
  • Understand what type of ‘style’ you are because you can then better understand your children eg: do they like a lot of structure or more spontaneity?  Often we have opposites in the family, so if you treat them the way you like to be treated it could drive them crazy. 
  • What she presents to kids around a functioning, feeling and thinking brain, and gives them an example of how what they’re feeling after a specific exercise isn’t a fact – feelings aren’t facts.  
  • Her experience with her own children and how she struggled with feeling like she needed to fix her kids problems.  That’s an overwhelming burden for a parent when you’re carrying the happiness of your child around and need to give them a solution.  But once Cat realised she didn’t need to fix her child’s feelings, but to have empathy, acknowledge, articulate and support them, it empowered her child to come up with a solution herself.  Sometimes as parents we try to squash how our children are feeling (eg; no, you’re not feeling scared etc) and that breaks that connection bond where we want children to feel like they can share anything with you.  You don’t need to try and fix your children’s feelings.
  • A game changing book Cat mentions is: How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids can talk; and How to really love your child and How to really love your angry child.
  • Every time you create a connection it helps that child feel like they belong and are part of the family.  Giving kids chores and jobs gives them a sense of belonging in a family and that no matter what is happening out in the world, helps them feel that this is their safe place.  To make kids not feel like they’re a burden, how do you make those points of connection when you are fully present?  Keep your phone in your bag, because by taking that call/checking your phone you’re saying that’s more important than the connection you’re making. Create times that are guarded from interruptions to help your child feel that connection and what is going on with them is more important than any work/friend phone call or dishes that need to be done – so that they know how important they are.  Eye contact is really important in creating a connection with your child.

Talia Carlisle is a children’s performer, international nanny and journalist passionate about empowering the next generation to dream big.  Navigating change is something Talia is used to, working in the ever-changing media industry as an education journalist, travel writer and presenter for Big Review TV.  Talia learnt to harness her creativity as a screen actor and performer for children’s educational theatre company NZ Playhouse, making children laugh in nearly 400 schools across New Zealand and Australia in 2016.

Talia challenges the next generation to step up, speak up and seize every opportunity. Currently a community manager of GirlBoss NZ, their successful programmes are paving the way for young girls to succeed in typically male dominated sectors such as science, technology, and healthcare.  Their next programme, GirlBoss Edge starts July 11-20 online and matches students interested in law, policy and government with mentors to help them write New Zealand’s next chapter, as well as their own. For more information visit www.girlboss.nz

You can find Talia here: https://www.facebook.com/taliacarlisle, https://www.readysetglowgirl.com/ and https://www.instagram.com/readysetglowgirl/

In this episode Talia mentions:

  • When we talk to children (and all people), it’s important to realise where we are coming from and not to project our ideas or negative energy on to them.  You don’t want them to pick up the negativity and bad habits from you, but to empower them to pick up the good things we have to offer.  Are we talking instead of listening?
  • The fear of failure, and how Talia learnt to use failure to her advantage, because opportunities can come from failure.  Sometimes it’s not until you lose things that you realise what it is that you have and that there are other opportunities out there. 

Natalie Cutler-Welsh is your host, speaker, author, Impact Entrepreneur and mother of 3. Aka the Go to Girl and the Up Your Brave Mentor, Nat helps people to Amplify their Impact, business and wellness with her Amplify Membership and Essential Oils.

In this episode Natalie mentions: 

  • Treat your kids equal but not the same.  Kids are so different, so go about things quite differently.
  • Don’t strive for perfection, strive for learning.

This is one of the #UpYourBrave livestream series designed to help raise the state of resilience, health and happiness on a global level.

You can find Nat here: http://nataliecutlerwelsh.com/about/. You can also check out the other videos in the #UpYourBrave series here: http://nataliecutlerwelsh.com/video-series/.  You can also find more recommended tools and resources here.