Confidence & Happiness in Times of Change – Episode 17

In Uncategorized by Jo Davenport

Welcome to this episode of the #UpYourBrave Livestream Panel.  It’s great to have three fabulous guests share their insights and tips about Confidence & Happiness in Times of Change.  

Simona Lee Spark is a Relationship Coach and LGBTQ Activist, as well as the owner and founder of Spark Transformation Academy, and works with LGBTQ families supporting them to release limiting beliefs so they can fully embrace their new identity.  Her mission is to help individuals and couples from every walk of life become the parents their children need them to be. She is a TEDx Speaker, published author, and also the creator and host of Redefined Family in the Modern Age of LGBTQ Podcast, Spark Transformation Academy and The Confident Parent Course.

You can find Simona here: https://sparktransformation.academy/welcome/; https://www.facebook.com/sparktransformationacademy/ and https://simonaspark.com/.

In this episode Simona mentions: 

  • Most adults think they lack confidence, but what’s happening is that we lack skill. When we don’t know how to do something, we’re afraid of it, but when we learn and repeat, we then become confident. Everyone has confidence, you were born with it, however as we grow up people tell us the way things should be done, and we begin to feel that we lack confidence.  But it’s there, and by unpacking and letting go of the labels you can go back and find out who you are to unleash the confidence. 
  • How we show up confidently everyday is around going in and boosting our self worth.  What are the things, spaces, people etc that make you happy eg: self care, self love, and that will boost self worth.  What are your personal boundaries?  When you get that feeling of discomfort, it’s a signal that your personal boundaries probably need to be upgraded.  We forget that we become a different person everyday so look inside, and ask who am I being today, and what are the beliefs, habits, boundaries that need to be upgraded so they match who I am today? If they don’t match, then you can not be happy, because you’re out of alignment. 
  • As adults we get to unlearn what we’ve learnt, and to decide what our life is going to look like.  Do what feels right to you! And if you’re doing it for someone else, and not for you…just drop it!

Shailesh Bagwe is a multifaceted personality being a Tax Agent and running a Business Advisory service based in Auckland. He’s passionate about community, charity work and one of his many achievements has been the implementation of video conferencing services to all District Health Boards in New Zealand.  He once envisioned a media source that works on true media ethos and transparency and is proud to have now created New Zealand World News on the same foundations. You can find Shailesh here: https://www.facebook.com/NZWorldNews and https://nzwn.co.nz/.

In this episode Shailesh mentions: 

  • Confidence is about knowing yourself, how good you are and how good you can be, rather than listening to others about what they think you’re good at.  Doing things is the only way your confidence can come, just keep taking steps forward and taking action. 
  • In today’s media environment, people often don’t want to speak their truth or be themselves, so we can end up hiding our own confidence and self esteem, rather than being confident and speaking your own mind and being real.  
  • Surrounding yourself with confident people and people who take action is a good way to improve your self-esteem.    

Diana Thomson is a keynote speaker, author and public speaking coach that discovered the power of speaking up during a time of upheaval and change whilst living in Singapore. She went from being shy and awkward on to winning speaking competitions and became a mentor to others. She started SpeechMarks Coaching in 2016 to help women speak up and now helps people from all genders voices be heard. Her book Anyone Can Speak Confidently is for anyone that needs extra confidence or guidance to speak in meetings or take other opportunities. 

You can find Diana here: www.speechmarks.co.nz to download the FREE top speaking tips; https://www.speechmarks.co.nz/she-says-so-public-speaking-membership-program.   https://www.facebook.com/diana.thomson.35; https://www.instagram.com/speechmarkscoaching/

And receive 50% off her ebook: Anyone Can Speak Confidently when you buy from Indie Experts w promo code: SpeechMarks20 

In this episode Diana mentions: 

  • You don’t have to be a confident speaker to get better at public speaking. You just have to start. In fact your public speaking journey can help with your confidence, because you’ll have some good speeches and bad speeches, successes and failures but eventually you get more resilient.  But you have to just decide to start – action will create that confidence. 
  • People are often bad judges of how good they are and can be their own worst critics, which can in term impact their confidence.  You have the skills that you’ve got, focus on those and then start believing in a positive outcome. 
  • Perfection is one of the biggest confidence killers you can get.  You’re not aiming for perfection, perfection will just stop action and destroy your confidence.  
  • Take action everyday.  What are the opportunities to take action everyday to improve and build your self confidence?  Then you start to feel happier, because taking action everyday is a great way to build up your experience, knock up some successes, get some learnings, build up your resilience, and start to get comfortable…which then makes it easier to visualise success. 
  • If you overuse your strengths they can be a negative, and while perfectionism sounds like a negative, it can actually be a good thing in balance.  Use it as a tool, but not your only operating system. 

Natalie Cutler-Welsh is your host, speaker, author, Impact Entrepreneur and mother of 3. Aka the Go to Girl and the Up Your Brave Mentor, Nat helps people to Amplify their Impact, business and wellness with her Amplify Membership and Essential Oils.

In this episode Nat mentions:

  • Our confidence can vary based on the situation we’re in.  Key is putting yourself in positions to grow your confidence, as long as it’s heading us to where we want to go.  
  • Rather than ‘fake it until you make it’, Nat’s preference is ‘believe until you achieve’ because it has a different energy about it.  
  • Write down 10 things that make you happy or confident, then make some appointments with yourself in your calendar to do these things.  Don’t add any ‘shoulds’ because it’s a recipe for unhappiness and frustration.  Be intentional about how you want to feel and move towards that.
  • If you don’t love it, don’t do it! Post COVID it is a great opportunity to take a new turn and pivot – to drop what’s not serving you and try something new. 

This is one of the #UpYourBrave livestream series designed to help raise the state of resilience, health and happiness on a global level.

You can find Nat here: http://nataliecutlerwelsh.com/about/. You can also check out the other videos in the #UpYourBrave series here: http://nataliecutlerwelsh.com/video-series/.  You can also find more recommended tools and resources here.